What do I say?

Hello i am only 14 years old and i have been through so much for my age and really understands that ......i started drinking when i was 12 and could stop i never really why i drank but then i finally came to realize that it was because off my brother who comet suicide when i was 9 i also relized that i blamed my self 100% and i became very depress. I am glade to say that i finally have stopped this horrible drinking until i can't feel thing but i want to drink so much and allot of my friends know i drink but don't know that i have been drink sense i was about 12 and even if i told them this they wouldn't believe it b/c they just don't believe that i could do that but i do all the time. Now really my question is that i have friends that are doing what i am that are my age and i wounder if its wrong of me to talk to them about it or try to stop them? And if its wrong of me to drink but not get drunk? And if i do drink am i still considered and alcoholic even if i don't get **** faced?